Why Autism in Girls Is So Often Missed: A Guide for NJ Parents

Understanding Why Autism in Girls Goes Undetected

For years, autism spectrum disorder (ASD) has been thought of as a condition that primarily affects boys. While it is true that more boys are diagnosed-about 4 times as many-this gap may be partly due to missed diagnoses in girls. Research suggests that many girls with autism are not identified until later in childhood or even adolescence, and some are never diagnosed at all. This is not because autism is less common in girls, but because the signs often look different and are frequently overlooked by parents, teachers, and even clinicians.

In New Jersey, where autism rates are among the highest in the nation, understanding these differences is critical. Liftoff ABA, a provider of in-home ABA therapy, works with families across the state to ensure that every child-including girls-gets the personalized support they need. Here is a closer look at why autism in girls is so often missed and what NJ parents can do about it.

The Masking Phenomenon: How Girls Hide Their Autism

One of the biggest reasons autism is missed in girls is a behavior called masking or camouflaging. Girls with autism often learn to hide their challenges by mimicking the social behaviors of their peers. They may force themselves to make eye contact, copy facial expressions, or rehearse conversations in their head before speaking. This can be exhausting and lead to anxiety or burnout, but it also makes their autism less obvious to others.

Signs of masking in girls

• Social mimicry: Copying the gestures, tone, or interests of popular peers to fit in.
• Scripting: Using memorized phrases from movies or books during conversations.
• Withdrawal at home: Holding in emotions all day at school, then melting down or shutting down once they are home.
• Anxiety or depression: Often misdiagnosed as a mood disorder rather than autism.

Because these girls appear to be functioning well in social settings, their struggles are often dismissed as shyness or personality quirks. For NJ parents, it is important to pay attention to how your child behaves in a safe environment versus in public. If she seems like a different person at home, masking may be at play.

Different Social Interests and Play Patterns

Another reason autism is missed in girls is that their social interests can look different from those of boys with autism. While a boy might line up cars or talk endlessly about trains, a girl might focus on dolls, animals, or fictional characters. She may engage in pretend play but do so in a rigid or repetitive way-for example, always having the same doll say the same lines or reenacting the same scene from a movie.

What to look for

• Intense, narrow interests: A deep fascination with a specific topic, like a particular book series, horse breeds, or a historical figure.
• One-sided friendships: Preferring to play with younger children or adults, or having friendships that revolve around her own interests.
• Difficulty with group dynamics: Struggling to join in group play or follow unwritten social rules.

These behaviors may not raise red flags because they seem typical for a girl her age. But the intensity and rigidity of the interest or the difficulty with peer relationships can be clues. In New Jersey, early intervention programs like NJEIS (New Jersey Early Intervention System) can help evaluate these signs from birth to age 3, and school districts offer special services through county special-services schools for older children.

Sensory Sensitivities and Repetitive Behaviors

Sensory issues are common in autism, but in girls, they may be less obvious. Instead of flapping hands or rocking, a girl might cover her ears during loud noises, avoid certain clothing textures, or insist on eating the same foods. These behaviors can be mistaken for pickiness or anxiety rather than autism.

Common sensory signs in girls

• Auditory sensitivity: Discomfort with loud sounds like vacuum cleaners, sirens, or crowded rooms.
• Tactile sensitivity: Refusing to wear tags, seams, or certain fabrics; disliking messy play.
• Visual or olfactory sensitivity: Bothered by bright lights or strong smells.
• Repetitive movements: Subtle stimming like hair twirling, nail biting, or tapping fingers.

These sensitivities can affect daily life, from school to family outings. In-home ABA therapy, like that provided by Liftoff ABA, can help girls develop coping strategies in a familiar environment. Because therapy is delivered at home, it can be tailored to address specific sensory triggers and build skills in a comfortable setting.

Diagnostic Delays and the Impact on Girls

Because autism in girls is often missed, many do not receive a diagnosis until they are older-sometimes not until their teenage years. This delay can have significant consequences. Without understanding their own neurology, girls may internalize their struggles, thinking they are just weird or not trying hard enough. This can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or even eating disorders.

In New Jersey, the autism insurance mandate requires many health plans to cover diagnostic evaluations and ABA therapy. Additionally, NJ Medicaid (NJ FamilyCare) provides coverage for eligible families. Liftoff ABA accepts most major insurance plans, including NJ FamilyCare, and offers free benefits verification to help families understand their coverage. There are no waitlists, so families can start therapy within weeks of diagnosis.

Why early identification matters

• Early support can help girls build social and communication skills.
• It reduces the risk of mental health challenges later in life.
• It allows for school-based accommodations through an IEP or 504 plan.
• It helps the child and family understand and embrace her unique strengths.

What NJ Parents Can Do: Steps to Take

If you suspect your daughter may have autism, trust your instincts. You know your child best. Here are practical steps for NJ families:

1. Track your observations

Write down specific behaviors you notice, such as social difficulties, sensory reactions, or intense interests. Note when and where these happen. This information is valuable for professionals.

2. Seek a comprehensive evaluation

Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a developmental pediatrician, child psychologist, or autism specialist. In New Jersey, you can also contact PerformCare (the state's mental health and addiction services system) for guidance. For children under 3, NJEIS offers free evaluations.

3. Explore therapy options

ABA therapy is an evidence-based approach for autism. Liftoff ABA provides in-home therapy across New Jersey, with BCBA-designed plans and one dedicated therapist per child. This model ensures consistency and personalization, which is especially helpful for girls who may need a safe, familiar environment to unmask and learn.

4. Connect with support networks

Join local parent groups or online communities for families of autistic girls. Organizations like Autism New Jersey and the New Jersey Department of Education's special education services can provide resources and advocacy support.

How Liftoff ABA Supports Girls with Autism in New Jersey

At Liftoff ABA, we understand that every child is unique, and girls with autism often have different needs than boys. Our in-home therapy model allows us to work in the environment where your child feels most comfortable. We design each plan around your daughter's strengths and challenges, whether she needs help with social skills, sensory regulation, or daily routines.

We accept most major insurance plans, including NJ FamilyCare, and we verify your benefits for free. There are no waitlists, so you can start therapy quickly. Our BCBAs supervise every plan, and each child works with one dedicated therapist for consistency. To learn more, call us at (973) 566-3180 or visit our website.

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